Boys suck

Sorry, guys - but ya'll make it really hard on us ladies. My husband has done NOTHING healthy for himself...well, let me correct that - okay, he has restricted himself to one plate at each meal - one heaping plate...but no seconds...but other than that - no exercise, no dietary choices, no counting...and he's lost 14 pounds in like a month and a half. And he's under medical supervision for other things - so it's not like he got some weird weight-loss disease. Grr. Not that that would make me feel any better. And don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's losing the weight...it's just not helping me in my quest. Selfish - absolutely! Honest, yes.

But the good news is my scale says I'm down two more pounds and into a new set of numbers in the tens column...I don't feel it, and I'm not a believer in "the numbers don't lie" because scales are simple machines that can break or misread...

In fact I feel heavier than ever - which I know is not possible, because I'm definitely not where I was. And it's the little things that remind me of that - the way clothes fit, the way jewelry fits, etc.

I had an awful lunch yesterday - and knew it when I made the choice, knew it while I was eating it, and knew it afterwards. I made much better choices for dinner - fresh veggies instead of creamed spinach, baked potato (with everything on the side) instead of garlic mashed...a 6 oz portion of steak instead of 12...but that lunch is still with me. It was a total emotional thing. I was feeling down, and in a way, I must have wanted to confirm that feeling - I certainly didn't look to the fast food as a comfort. And with each bite that tasted awful, I kept thinking to myself, why? Well, maybe that's the point I needed to reach with that.

Similar to last cigarette I smoked. Every drag was awful. The taste left on my lips stayed with me for a while, and no matter what I did - brushed my teeth, chewed gum, used lip chap - I couldn't make it go away deliberately. I carried the reminder with me for a while of the awful habit.

So maybe this is the same thing. Foods of the past just don't taste the same to me anymore. We're starting to cook more at home, healthy, really tasty choices...not necessarily less calories - but whole, real foods, no additives, no processing...other than my blender...and we're having fun. We try to make it a family event...and that makes it more enjoyable.

I'm getting there...we're getting there...I can't change my life in a day - especially if I want it to stick, and I can't beat myself up for that either.